Sinner's Prayer

Several of you have asked me in separate emails why I have not posted in the last few months...  the answer is... no, I am not any more crazy than before (though I guess I would be the last to know...), but more that I have not much to say...  my old neurologist tossed all his former military Tricare patients off his patient list. (Thank you OBAMACARE... remember how THE CHOSEN ONE said if you liked your doctor, you could keep him?  ...riiight...no matter, I wasn't going to vote for the Democrats anyway and neither should you).  My wife then went looking for a new doc... with one snafu after another my records were never transferred before the first appointment with the new doc so he had little to go on... so he had his assistant administer a new battery of 30 cognitive questions where I went 30 for 30... and that caused a little scepticism on the part of the new doc.   So he has scheduled me for an all day battery of cognitive testing on the 6th of January.   We will see... check back late in January  for my results...

Meanwhile life goes on day to day, pretty much routine for me... read the on-line newspapers in the morning, write my personal flog with daily observations that is sent in turn to a few dozen friends... go for a walk or bike ride... read some in the whatever books I have going... finish up a few household chores, make dinner, watch some news and English mysteries on the telly... then bed... and wake up... repeat... pretty dull huh?

That all got me to thinking about an old favorite song of mine...

Sinner's Prayer

by Slaid Cleaves / Rod Picott . . . Happy Valley Music, BMI/Welding Rod Music, BMI
from the CDs Wishbones and Sorrow & Smoke: Live at the Horseshoe Lounge

I’m not living like I should
I want to be a better man
A sinners prayer upon my lips
A broken promise in my hands
I know that there will come a day
A heavy price I’ll have to pay
I keep pretending to be good
But I’m not living like I should

I’m not living like I should
I’ve let the mystery slip away
The night goes by in dreamless sleep
I’m chasing foolish things all day
I walk this town just like a ghost
I don’t know what I miss the most
I’d believe in something if I could
I’m not living like I should

When people see me on the street
They think they see an honest man
They don’t know what lies beneath
But some of them would understand
They know the soul and what it hides
You sometimes see it in their eyes
A guilty man where a child once stood
I’m not living like I should

I’m not living like I should
The wolves howl, the robin sings
The world keeps spinning round and round
I wait for mercy’s angel wings
Another day another year
Death keeps whispering in my ear
I say a prayer, I knock on wood
I’m not living like I should

I’m not living like I should
I used to be a better man
A sinners prayer upon my lips
A broken promise in my hands
A squandered gift,a wasted day
Time chases life away
I just wanted to be good
But I’m not living like I should

Hallelujah

Reflecting further on the events in Boston, and trying to gather some meaning from it all in the narrowing corridors of my own brain, for some odd reason... maybe for fate or for faith or for all those families ... Leonard Cohen's song "Hallelujah", about the hardships of life, of loss, and of love, ... especially the version as sung by KD Lang, kept echoing around like muffled marbles in the sound chamber of my mind...  I share it here with you all... and whilst I keep my own interpretation of the song, you can ponder yours... 



LEONARD COHEN LYRICS

"Hallelujah"

I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Baby I have been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you.
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

There was a time when you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in you
The holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Maybe there’s a God above
But all I’ve ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
It’s not a cry you can hear at night
It’s not somebody who has seen the light
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

You say I took the name in vain
I don't even know the name
But if I did, well, really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light in every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Boston...

I lived and worked in and around Boston for nearly ten years.  I started my undergraduate education at Northeastern University and finished my Master's Degree at Boston University.   I know the city very well.  I first walked down Bolyston Street when I was just 18.  I spent years enjoying the Boston Pops and the Boston Symphony from the first balcony at Symphony Hall.  I enjoyed dozens of Red Soxs games at Fenway.  I remain a loyal, if distant Red Soxs fan.   I KNOW Boston... and its people.

And so... as the dust settles and the new concrete has been repoured over the bloodstained sidewalks, my heart and my prayers are with its people as they try and move on in life.  The sun will rise tomorrow...

 

 



The Living Room...

See?  This is exactly why I spend so much time in my Man Cave and back office...

Elliot Chavez & Friends January 2013

Nothing like a grandchild to warm the heart...

Please click "here" for the expanded slide and vocalized version

"Whenever You Remember"

as sung by Carrie Underwood

When you look back on times we had
I hope you smile
And know that through the good and through the bad
I was on your side when nobody could hold us down
We claimed the brightest star
And we, we came so far
And no they won't forget

[Chorus]
Whenever you remember times gone by
Remember how we held our heads so high
When all this world was there for us
And we believed that we could touch the sky
Whenever you remember, I'll be there
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember

When you think back on all we've done
I hope you're proud
When you look back and see how far we've come
It was our time to shine
And nobody could hold us down
They thought they'd see us fall
But we, we stood so tall
And no we won't forget

Whenever you remember times gone by
Remember how we held our heads so high
When all this world was there for us
And we believed that we could touch the sky
Whenever you remember, I'll be there
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember

Yeah, Oh

We claimed the brightest star
And we, we came so far
You know that we, we showed them all
And no they won't forget

Yeah

Whenever you remember times gone by
Remember how we held our heads so high
When all this world was there for us
And we believed that we could touch the sky
Whenever you remember, I'll be there
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember

Whenever you remember

Oh, whenever you remember

Still Crazy... - After All These Years

Gee, ...despite being away from this site for over nine months since last posting... and despite what some of you may have surmised...  no, I am not crazy yet... at least not in my own mind....  actually, that's not quite true, for I have ALWAYS been a little crazy... its just that now they tell me my mind is going that way too...  when you think about it... the irony of it all strikes me as quite humorous in some ways...

Still Crazy After All These Years - Paul Simon

Words & music by Paul Simon 

I met my old lover 
On the street last night 
She seemed so glad to see me 
I just smiled 
And we talked about some old times 
And we drank ourselves some beers 
Still crazy afler all these years 
Oh, still crazy after all these years 

I'm not the kind of man 
Who tends to socialize 
I seem to lean on 
Old familiar ways 
And I ain't no fool for love songs 
That whisper in my ears 
Still crazy afler all these years 
Oh, still crazy after all these years 

Four in the morning 
Crapped out, yawning 
Longing my life a--way 
I'll never worry 
Why should i? 
It's all gonna fade 

Now I sit by my window 
And I watch the cars 
I fear I'll do some damage 
One fine day 
But I would not be convicted 
By a jury of my peers 
Still crazy after all these years 
Oh, still crazy 
Still crazy 
Still crazy after all these years