Thursday, November 17, 2011

Sadness

Ed is hunting and cell reception is unavailable. I feel sad to not be able to speak with him, and worried about his well being. I am his nemesis right now as he in his frame of mind and thinks I am trying to control him. He does not seem to grasp the gravity of trying to protect him and us for future care, and keeps telling me he is not "goofy" yet. Of course his behavior warrented the diagnosis without him having a recognition of it, and in the present he cannot see the changes within himself either. As a partner it leaves you feeling lonely, angry, scared. As a caretaker you have to continue to do what is right, and try to disregard his anger. Tough time of this disease when your loved one is not quite "there" but enough to have to manage things despite their objections. I remind myself to just do my best and its only the ad that makes him so pissed off at me! I am in hopes that he is having a wonderful time with his friends and enjoying being at his hunting camp and will come back feeling a little lighter. We'll see....

2 comments:

  1. I want to reach out and tell you that I am praying and sending strong support vibes your way, as I know all your friends and clients are! I can't even imagine how scary it is to know the loved one is potentially in danger and that you can't really protect that person from all harm. You are very brave, and courageous in the sharing of your story We all love you Melinda, and Ed too. Big Hug.

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  2. Dear ed, love this blog, lot's of courage, would like to see you up date frequently

    my happy eye

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